Taking fitness to a (w)hole 'nother level

I had heard briefly about this, um, special spa, you know, for women; no, it's not Curves--it's a really special spa.

It's a spa for your vagina.

Yep.

The New York Times article is titled "A spa for those women concerned about pelvic fitness," which is a growing constituency, I guess. The pelvis has become a marketable area for modification, ranging from the Brazilian bikini wax to genital surgery referred to as vaginal “rejuvenation.” Doctors have even coined a term for such genital “beautification”: cosmetogynecology or cosmogynecology. The ads for doctors who specialize in vaginal rejuvenation, and for courses that you can take to learn the techniques ("YOU can become a licensed vaginal rejuvenator--IN YOUR SPARE TIME!") are rampant in the OBGYN periodicals.

Let's see what they say about this place, shall we?

Dr. Laura Romanzi is opening "the first medi spa in Manhattan wholly dedicated to strengthening and grooming a woman’s genital area. Phit — short for pelvic health integrated techniques — is to open this month on East 58th Street." Apparently, for $150, you can go in and tighten your vaginal muscles around Dr. Romanzi's fingers so she can assess your, eh, personal fitness. Perhaps Dr. Romanzi seeks to return to those halcyon days back in the late 1800's, when it was fashionable for society women to visit their gynecologist who would perform "uterine manipulations" to relieve their neurasthenias and hysterias, so to speak.

She's got a website, too.

Some of the services offered include Lazy Susan ("Painless electrical stimulation--for an effortless Kegel muscle workout"), Lip Sync (for those with asymmetrical labia), and The "Other" Face Lift (go on--guess what that's about--I dare you). There's even a Gifts and Packages page, for that special someone in your life! "Honey, the kids and I wanted to get you something really nice for Mother's Day . . . "

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

The article does include some skepticism from a Dr. Abbey Berenson, who states, “If this is being recommended to women who have no symptoms, then there are no medical organizations or literature that support that that is necessary.” Indeed, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has issued a statement noting that "vaginal rejuvenation, designer vaginoplasty, revirgination, and G-spot amplification, are not medically indicated, and the safety and effectiveness of these procedures have not been documented. No adequate studies have been published assessing the long-term satisfaction, safety, and complication rates for these procedures."

Dr. Romanzi says that she only wanted to teach women the proper way to do Kegel exercises. She does grudgingly admit that the idea of pelvic fitness is based more on her own experience than on clinical evidence. However, she believes all women might benefit from such exercises. “If you can vote and you have a vagina, you should do these,” she said. “It’s the dental floss of feminine fitness.”

I'm not sure what your voting rights have to do with your G-spot; nor am I sure that women will necessarily appreciate the flossing analogy. Indeed, The Anchoress commented, "My voting vagina rejects the analogy to dental floss - it makes her wince into a stern and metal-bending Kegel."

Only a woman could say that.